Hotel Lobby Paparazzi Pregaming
hotels are the new red carpet bc we demand 'authentic' intimacy dammit
So, as my first ever official public writing I was going to try to time this with the Met Gala since I’m into analyzing pop culture & how it’s a mirror reflection of our (meaning the general public/layman/etc) secret desires. But then a whole bunch of shit happened ( aka supply chain issues/dea restrictions/more people realizing they’re neurodivergent/me missing my tele-doctor’s appt by like 2 mins/the computers at said doctor’s office being down/everywhere in NY being out of generic aka covered by health insurance adderall) and I ended up going through baby-speed withdrawal which was GREAT. So I spent my week of spiraling thinking about all the things that one thinks about when they unexpectedly become chemically unbalanced; which for me is how in the past 8 months I’ve had to estrange from almost my entire immediate & extended family, dropped a bicoastal ex-close friend who continuously sabotaged me1 and was apparently sending me penance(!?) through cashapp & how I’ve lost connections to people I wish I didn’t — because of the above combined with reasons I will not be sharing here. So I realized…I’m craving intimacy. And then I started thinking about how we (humans aka a social species) desire authentic intimacy but are terrified of being truly vulnerably perceived which has, duh, led to a culture of performativity & settling for less. I think it’s important to note the etymology for performance is to ~complete a task/accomplishment~. So when we’re afraid of intimacy we do the next best thing—go through the steps…which is why performative sex can suck so much2.
So back to the Met Gala, I tried to watch Vogue’s livestream like a good cultural/media critic. My main takeaway was that the celebs legit just show up & a lot of them know v little about why they’re wearing what they’re wearing— or they just don’t feel like explaining it. Also, I thought Hilary Clinton was Gerri from Succession.
Like the late gen millennial that I am, I hopped on my finsta Twitter to see what was really tea. And then I saw a snap of Kylie leaving her hotel in a wedding dress & baseball cap, giving Parent Trap, and then one of Nicki Minaj leaving her hotel (also in a baseball cap), and then I saw THIS image of Cardi B3 leaving her hotel4…technically it’s an image of her team covering her but you get it!
I love hotel-as-red-carpet so much; traditionally a red carpet is used to mark the route taken by heads of state for ceremonies & formal occasions; the first mention in the written record was in 458 BC5. Is it not apparent how deep our need for authentic relationships with one another is?
sidenote: A type of self-surveillance,‘intimate surveillance’, happens when we are gathering knowledge about ourselves and/or our sexual/romantic/platonic partners. Obvious for Tinder, Grindr, Feeld, Hinge, etcetera. Menstrual cycle apps like Glow which lets you share your cycle with your partner fall under ‘committed’ intimate surveillance *cough cough*. Match.com & Eharmony don’t qualify.
The gala aspect of the Met Gala is shrouded in mystery (as charity events oft are) so the red carpet, in theory, is perfect for us common-folk to get our parasocial relationship fix, except — made obvious through the pics of press standing on the sides of the actual carpet — we’re not invited to observe their supposed route to & fro the event in real-time. So we ascend on the celebutantes in their natural environment, fancy luxe hotels. And we know celebrities spend a hefty amount of their time traveling & therefore staying in hotels, not in their actual homes. Pregaming-the-red-carpet-lobby-to-car in our 2022 world is the most intimate mediated experience we can have with our beloved personalities before they head off to the highly promoted yet relatively gatekept soiree for a public museum.
Everything in this world is a tool & nothing is inherently good or bad because ~nuance~ and also context so we have to acknowledge that celebrities do actually serve a purpose in our society…yeah maybe it’s perverse but that’s not the point. ‘Celebrity’ & stan culture, aka parasocial relationships, can help relieve us of the strain sometimes created in complementary relationships. It’s like friends you only talk to when convenient or endlessly dating because self-soothing is work, negating the chance of rejection while providing companionship and a larger social network. I told my therapist I’d work on not being judge-y ( but context, so don’t come for me, it’s probably not personal).6
{ps. the red carpet @ the actual gala looked dirty….i don’t think it was intentional despite the theme}
xoxo, Sydney
Seriously, always listen to your intuition because she ruined so many friendships & budding connections for me. Tbh I’ll never know all of what she did because I just had an epiphany that she couldn’t be happy for anything good in my life; in her last cashapp repentance of $50 (blocked everywhere else) she apologized for betraying my trust ‘ily & take care’, ugh.
Also, as an artist who makes performance-based work but HATES the idea of a gallery audience watching a performer do some abstract task, I just have to say, WHY.
Who else would understand the need for this than social media star turned bonafide celebrity Cardi B? I originally thought this was Kim and I like the note below so I’m keeping it.
This is such an inverse of Kim’s 2021 Met Gala look & I can’t not talk about it. Like she went from claiming the void as undeniably her to using the void to hide the iconic embodiment of a pop culture/political mash-up lest we forget who she is. LIKE what a fucking power move. Also, I saw something about her ruining an archival dress & fwiw she definitely wasn’t allowed to wear body makeup. Also, I have thoughts on our desire for material stagnation (as opposed to preservation).
Wikipedia: Red Carpet
I personally believe Kim Kardashian’s ‘Get off your ass and work’ statement was aimed at Kourtney or an equivalent. She’s said that about Kourtney so many times in the past, why wouldn’t it be about her? Kim has stated that her comment was taken out of context.