The Nickelodeon Slime to Humiliation Kink Pipeline
thoughts & opinions from notes app purgatory
The hardest part about writing is that I have to set aside time to not only think my thoughts but also mediate them & I have a sinus infection right now so this is a compromise between me who wrote this draft sometime earlier this year and Sydney, the author, on November 9th-11th 2022.
I’ve had a few prompts clogging my notes app like:
Shein has chicken bags
The Nickelodeon Slime to Humilation Kink Pipeline You only got slimed on Nickelodeon if you lost. According to the OG creators, Nickelodeon was THE place for kids outside of the “strict, rule-filled” world of adults1. I grew up wanting nothing more than to get slimed at King’s Island, an amusement park near where I lived in Cincinnati, Ohio. If you’re not familiar, a humiliation kink doesn’t mean you get off on anyone humiliating you because we practice RACK & SSC2 (also omg apparently aftercare is becoming vanilla! <3) but when in certain headspaces, like a live-streamed stage, you get turned on by consensually allowing someone to humiliate & degrade you. Yet another reason to not feed the trolls or Ted Cruz.
Being Naked in Your House is a Luxury
At the gym blasting Thot Shit by Megan Thee Stallion, I realized that I’m being deprived of my birthright to walk around my house butt-naked basking in the sun, and stopping in every mirror to stare at my own posterior. I bought some lingerie from my neighborhood thotshop3 in an effort to speed up this process, or we could all just general strike. Til then….
The ‘JUST Eggs’ slogan: made from plants, not chickens’.
I was in the Food Universe by my house earlier this year when I saw that low-key propaganda & had to snap a pic for some future project. By the way, that Food Universe is now charging $4.99 - 9.99 for a carton of eggs. I think JUST Egg recently took the last part of their slogan out but if I were to write about that sly marketing, it would’ve played out like this:
Just Egg is made by a man who wakes up to an alarm on his phone with the words ‘prepare to die today’ flashing across it --He has genetic & behaviorally compounded health issues but is also thinking about the children in “SubSarahan Africa” he met while volunteering on a nonprofit trip, it sounds like this is where the idea for JUST Egg was conceived. Just Egg isn’t his only product, there’s a whole line of JUSTs. JUST Ranch, JUST mayo, JUST Cookie Dough. He wants to ‘live in a world where we eat primarily whole plant foods’……
What kills me about JUST Egg’s marketing and is super apparent in my five min research into the founder is…it’s pro-life no? Made from plants, not chickens; it’s actually plant-cell cultured yohk. Isn’t this an antithesis to the idea of JUST? Why am I thinking about cell structures holding a legal weight in the freezer aisle?!
I was on the train recently and a child asked their mom why a Grubhub (and/or Seamless?) ad read ‘When you’re craving pad thai so much that you’d leave your a/c for it.’ Her mom answered, “It’s a delivery service ad and they're acknowledging how hot it is outside.”
Apparently, I started writing this when AOC got led out by police but left it as a draft & am picking it up now. I also thought about talking about handcuffs not being needed when a person is arrested and framing situations around optics but getting arrested isn’t proof of jackshit because optics —IM TIRED AND THINGS ARE ALWAYS SHIFTING.
There were potential titles like, Do Slutty Men have Soul Ties too? She’s a Ten but…a study in exceptions to dichotomies and Celestial Peach Schnapps (from a book I need to return to the library/attempted to read about invoking deities via ritual).
But then past-me saw something on Instagram that ruined my mood & I started writing about a ruined friendship and this-week-me talked to our therapist & is embracing the post Super Blood Moon Eclipse energy and decided to let go of allathat so we can figure out how to move out of our apartment eventually & maybe take a vacation so we can leave New York city limits for the first time in three years.
So yeah, I’m not writing about cell accumulation in humans or chickens or whole chickens being stored in repurposed Shein bags any of the days.4
“The Orange Years: The Nickelodeon Story” (2018). Before Jeanette McCurdy (Sam on iCarly) released ‘I’m Glad my Mom Died’ which details her relationship with ‘the Creator’, long assumed pedophile, foot fetishist, and producer/writer/director Dan Schneider. Interestingly, 2018 was the year that Dan Schneider officially parted ways with Nickelodeon after not being allowed on set but still holding positions as producer/writer/director of shows like iCarly, Victorious, Cat (played by Ariana Grande) & Sam, The Amanda Show, Drake and Josh, Zoey 101 (Jamie Lynn Spears) and my personal favorite growing up, SNL for kids, All That.
RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink; SSC: Safe Sane Consensual
IYKYK. I can say it & I loosely know who reads this and a lot of you cannot. Thanks!
note: completely unrelated to anything below but i need this written down somewhere for purposes…I thought this was obvious but when i say cute or that something needs to be cuter it is not literal! please use context clues.